Friday, July 07, 2006

Happy birthday Mr President

The Rude Pundit has some fascinating ideas for birthday gifts for Junior President Bush on his 60th birthday yesterday. (Warning: contains extreme language.)

[...]what do you get the man who has everything? No, no, really, seriously, the man has everything. One can be sure he has an electric razor or a snazzy tie collection. And you can't buy him a bottle of wine or whiskey (well, you could, but you'd have to give it to him on the sly, wink, wink). [...]

The Rude Pundit thinks we should all chip in and get George W. Bush a corpse for the start of his seventh decade despoiling the Earth. But which one, which one?
No, no, Ken Lay's skinny corpse doesn't seem quite vivid enough for George W. Bush's 60th birthday. Perhaps for a 59th or 61st. But this one oughta be really special. The Rude Pundit's got it. Let's give the President the corpse of Abeer Qasim Hamza, the 15 - maybe 16 - maybe older - but no doubt young woman who was stalked, raped, and killed by a group of American soldiers, along with her parents and 7-year old sister. Sure, it'll be hard to give the entire body, what with Abeer having been shot over and over in the head after at least three soldiers gang-raped her. And who knows how much skin is left, since they used flammable chemicals to burn her body.

What could be a more perfect gift than the nearly headless, fleshless charred corpse of a young Iraqi woman? After all, the most poignant of the savageries of Saddam Hussein's reign in Iraq, the one repeated ad nauseam starting in 2003 (with nary a mention before), was the rape room, where the women of Iraq had to fear being kidnapped and taken to, where they were raped and tortured, with videotapes of the acts being used as a way to destroy their families, who were "dishonored" by the rape (one of the more charmingly culturally-repellent aspects of many Muslim nations). And now the women of Iraq no longer have to fear rape rooms. They get to fear predatory groups of American soldiers plotting to [rape] and murder women, kill their families, and desecrate their corpses. The more things change, you know...

I must say, the Rude Pundit's gift ideas are a little too practical for me. It feels like buying your mum a new frying pan for her birthday. I prefer more whimsical gifts, less practical and more intellectual. How about we chip in and buy the President the corpse of American democracy? But no, he already has two of them, gifts from the Electoral College in 2000 and Diebold voting machines in 2004.

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